Two Lost Souls
by Treesh Aradia
Summary: “Madonna wanted to become one.” Lexzie.


Disclaimer: Not mine.  
Author: Treesh Aradia  
Pairing: A/I  
Alternate Universe branched off from S3  
A/n: I, w.o permission, used the Table 5 from 100 Sitns. Oh, this is un-edited and un-beta-ed.

Summary:

**Prevent**

• **verb** **1** keep from happening or arising. **2** stop (someone) from doing something.

**Prevention** noun.

In the end she came through for him. In a way that he never did pre-Denny, and in the exact same way he did, post-Denny. She lived it, the moments of insane depression - the type that didn't feel like anything, but affected you just the same and she knew what awaited him if she just left it to the attending. No one ever got over betrayal. She knew it, and she was going to be a friend enough to prevent that from happening to him, ironic as it is.

Barely the third month into their relationship, and Izzie had to find her walking, calmly, out of the room. The on-call one - Where George was given the gift of Syphilis, where Christina was better introduced to Dr. Preston Burke, wherever he is now…

She was not surprised at the fact by itself. It was after all one of Alex's favourite hounds. And as she stood there, with Mrs. Ackers' chart in hand, she allowed herself a brief pause during which her body slams against its own inertia, a body that is remembering what Addison had just experienced. It wasn't even about _that_, although she did like it. _Loved_ it even. It was about the giggling and the hands touching, the freedom to be in his presence, anyone's presence, and laugh. Knowing they were good, they were together, and they could be happy that way, even when he was acting like the biggest jerk ever. So it still ached, knowing he's moved on, even if she had before him anyway.

But seeing Dr. Sloan leave after Addison and her now slightly askew coat, did. It surprised her. Izzie never thought the attending had it in her to be this cruel…another _second_ time. To a different man. A better man, if Izzie had anything to say about it. Izzie never figured it into the equation that maybe not everyone had the same sensitive disposition as her. Or maybe Addison was taking the adage of do unto others to a whole new extreme level.

If she wasn't still worried about the newness of her non-probationary status, she would walk right up to Satan-in-heels and maybe smack her around a bit. But she had pretended to read her chart, right as Satan asked her for an update.

"Alex? Talk to me."

So here she was, seated on the swing, at the park, divulging what she saw. Feeling slightly like a tatter teller, but feeling worse for the way his eyes blanked out when he connected what she had been trying, rather unsuccessfully to say.

A shrug was all she got. He could be so still and yet she knew just beneath that cold bastard veneer, was a heart. A heart she knew was getting kicked yet again. This is going to make him a bit colder, a bit meaner and that much more callous and guarded to everyone.

She knew because that was what became of her. She didn't have a friend to tell her about the infidelity. And so she found out how damaging betrayal is to one's concept of security the hard way, when she stumbled on the syph nurse and him _in flagrante delicto_. She grew more world weary, less trusting… less bright and shiny.

She makes a grab for his hand, manages and on their respective swings they started swinging in synch.

"Only a matter of time before it ended, you know? Never thought it'd be her to do the ending."

Izzie looks at him, wondering if she should start shaking him, maybe yell at him that it was alright to get angry. He didn't have to be so…resigned because she knew he liked Addison. Maybe, she shudders, even loved her.

Studying his curious pondering look she nearly missed what he was saying. "I know I've said it all before, but I'm sorry."

She nods, immediately knowing to what he was sorry for.

"Hey, wanna get me some ice cream so we can start that wallowing process you girls seem to love?"

She laughs, happy to see that even if he doesn't show anything, he was at least willing to let her in somewhat, to let her be there for him. And even if Satan comes bitching at her for her big mouth, and accuses her of being in love with her puppy, Izzie would not forget what she did tonight. She prevented something. And it was important to her that she prevented it for him.

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**Answer**

_**Answer**_

• **Verb**

**1** to speak or write in response to.

**2** to act or move in response to.

_Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame_

He found her, not baking, but sitting on the swing. It seemed to be a new favourite for them, ever since they became housemates and especially after the Meredith and Derek make up (out) session that required either cotton wool in their ears or a rapid escape to anywhere but within the house…within which McDreamy made Meredith all… _dreamily_ lusty. They had chanced upon the deserted playground en-route to the nearest Starbucks and as suddenly as they happened across it, it became theirs from just as randomly.

He took a few seconds to study her. Still beautiful, _always_, but today it seemed as if she was holding back that glow from her face.

Typical Izzie style sulk. That was what it was. He can make quite a confident wager about what today's sulkfest was about, even without her spelling it out for him - Callie basically shouted it to the whole floor when she tried to bash George in. It seemed Izzie and Alex were bound for trouble and heartache. If their romantic record were any proof at all. Addison not withstanding. He was glad they were at least on good terms, if good consisted mild conversations and hot sex_. Satan sex_. That was what Mark once mentioned when Alex got the rare chance to stand in on one of Dr. Sloan's exclusive plastic ops.

Alex sighs, not anticipating seeing her so…destitute. He might have slept around on her, but he always did care. Never once did he not care about whether she was happy, if she was feeling ok. It was their thing. And she understood that. He thinks.

"Hey Iz."

She looks up from her swing seat, eyes already showing the tell tale signs of puffiness. She stares back down, eyes focused on a not too distant spot on the ground, frown marring the slant of her forehead. "It's me isn't it? I'm doomed to failure. Maybe I should become a novice and go into a nunnery. Does the church accept sluts?"

It was one of those times when they were both able to share in their catholic guilt. He doesn't have an answer for her. Truthfully, he doesn't have an answer for this particular situation. Her and his brand of hell. Purgatory seems but a milistep away.

"Madonna wanted to become one."

Izzie laughs.

That was what he loved about her. It was easy to cheer her up. He had an easy time at least, knowing that all she needed was someone to empathise. Maybe not even the right words, but the effort. She was so easy to understand and so easy to love. He sighs. He wishes George weren't married, that he would see Izzie as she is, and make her happy. She deserved happy. After Denny, after his crap….she deserved someone who made her happy.

"Doesn't count, she hasn't slept with her married best friend."

Alex winces. Ok, maybe she was still bitter, and the laugh was a one off thing. "But she wore that metal bra thing, that's pretty slutty. And like a virgin? Please, slut much."

She rolls her eyes. And Alex is glad she can at least take her mind of George, Callie, and the whole infidelity thing for a bit. Enough to roll her eyes at his pathetic attempts of validating Madonna into a nunnery. Why were they having this conversation again?

"I slept with George."

"I know Iz."

She takes her eyes off the ground, enough to see Alex sitting beside her, his legs off the ground, swinging. "No Alex. I slept with George." Thinking maybe he haddn't heard her, or understood. Her sleeping with George, should not have him calling her Iz. Or sympathising with her. She should be branded with a capital A. She shouldn't have Alex swinging on the swing next to her, legs slightly akimbo.

His swing slows, and he halts her, left hand on her right chain. "I know Iz."

She stops completely, looking at him, seeing plainly the acceptance and forgiveness in his understanding eyes. She doesn't realise she so badly wanted forgiveness, that she should feel utter relief, that her gut would uncoil from tension at his forgiving her, made her feel slightly off kilter but she smiles anyway. For real this time and reverts to swinging again.

He eyes her and knows he did ok. Situation a-ok. Maybe not entirely, but better for now. And he realises even though he might not have much of an answer for her situation, that maybe with enough cajoling and distraction, he could maybe be there with a answer. He smiles at her and soon he starts swinging also.

_Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me_

Lyrics from Sia's song, Breathe Me.

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**Apparition**

She hasn't thought about Denny for a long time. Three days. So when she sees him in the hospital, sitting on the bed he died in, without the tubes and looking so alive, she thought maybe she inhaled a bit too much Novocain. He speaks to her though, with that smile she loves so much- the one that covers almost the whole of his face, and adding a twinkle in his eyes – and without registering what he says, she's thinking of when she could get another dose of whatever it was she inhaled, again.

To see him again.

Her Denny.

Or her would be Denny, if he hadn't died.

If she hadn't killed him.

She pauses her angsty musings, this time listening to him carefully, instead of taking in the image of him so alive and dreaming of their would-be-wedding and future.

That future which is gone.

…And he was asking her to let go. She hasn't thought of him for three days. This was her punishment for it, he was using reverse psychology to punish her for forgetting him. For three days. Three days, the first of which happened when Alex kissed her. Not on the lips, but just enough at the right side of her lips, that she wondered what it was to turn her head slightly just so his lips could touch hers. She wonders when she started thinking of Alex her friend as Alex her potential kiss buddy. And now she gets her due (punishment) for her absentee Denny thoughts for three days. He was punishing her, by being kind and Izzie was nothing but conflicted and she would die before she would ever forget him again. Alex was a mere passing thought, and she would not let another three days go by, without Denny thoughts, and no more Alex thoughts.

"Izzie, I love you, but I gotta tell you, the way you're behaving is slightly fanatical. I love you and you love me, I know that, but Iz I'm dead. You, yo're alive. You need to live. For yourself.

"And Alex... as much as it pains me to say this, could be what you need to get that life I want you to have. Let go Izzie, let go enough to let someone else in and if maybe not now, then you need to think of later. A kiss from Alex and already you're thinking of severing ties with him…that is not normal Iz. You're not normal anymore. You need to let go. I have."

She nearly dies from hearing him. He has let her go?

He smiles sadly, knowing exactly what she's thinking, but knowing it was better if he didn't correct her.

She looks to him. "I love you Denny, I can't ever let you go." And even as she says this, she knows that the large part of her dedicated to Denny, is growing smaller. She knows it will never vanish, but she's scared as some of it _is_ vanishing. It started three days ago.

And as Denny himself vanishes from her eyes, his heart breaks. Because even as she says what he wanted, if he were more selfish, to hear, he sees her vision clearing to make way for a different set of lips from a different man. He has planted the doubts in her head, and he has given her the nudge she needed to live again. For that Denny was grateful, he just wishes he didn't have to break his own heart in the process. But he loves her enough to let go entirely if he has to, and perhaps he was really telling Izzie the truth in that maybe he already has let her go.


End file.
